Do you ever heal completely from child abuse executed by one or both of your parents?

Well, from personal experience, I don't know if I will ever heal completely. What I do know is , everyday is a healing process for me. For a long time I pushed, the hurt, pain, and memories behind me. I remembered many things, but when I got a little older and had to become a responsible adult, many things triggered my abuse or something from my abusive past.

I had just gotten out of the shelter and moved into my first apartment ever. I remember spending my first night there by myself. I had my son spend the night with my family because he missed them so much and didn't get to see them much while we were in the shelter. I was alone and had no entertainment to keep me occupied. I had not purchased a television and there was no telephone.

I had to get up early the next day for my first day at work. I laid down on a black leather couch that was given to me and stared at the walls so that I could try to get some sleep. I found my self imagining the markings on the wood panelled walls were different things. That is when my first trigger occured.

When I was younger in my parents home where the abuse took place, I used to do the same thing and for the same reason. My parents always sold our toys to support their crack addiction. They never let us watch the TV shows that children watch. It was always adult shows on television. My sisters and I would only have our fingers and our imagination to play with. my mother would also make us take at least four naps a day because she was tired. We would have to turn and face the walls while trying to fall asleep.

Well, I would stare at those walls when bored or taking naps. They looked exactly like the walls in my new apartment. I used to imagine the markings on the walls to be many different things. They would be people, places, and things.

This was only the first of my many triggers. I guess it was because it was time for me to be independent and when becoming independent, you are forced to look long and hard at yourself. You can either decide to face these triggers and heal from them so that you may be able to grow or use them as an excuse to be your down fall. I chose and still am choosing to heal from them.

I know there are more deep seeded emotions that I will constantly have to face and recover from. This in turn will affect the way I respond to different situations. I guess if I had dealt with the situations sooner, then I would have probably been further into the healing process.

In my opinion, if one was to completely heal from child abuse executed by his or her parents, it would depend on two factors. It would depend on whether or not the individual had some type of therapy ( professional or not) or on their ability to forgive.

What is your opinion or fact?